For the Good of the Crew

Posted on Fri Feb 21st, 2025 @ 10:36pm by Captain M'Raz & Lieutenant H'iri

2,121 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: Resistance is Necessary
Location: Raz's Quarters | Deck 2 | USS Jane Addams
Timeline: MD001 0050

Now that Reeves had given H'iri an Operations position, she went to her new quarters and straightened them as much as she could. After that, though, she sighed. To say that today had been difficult would have been an understatement. First, the Kobyashi Maru test, then the Borg attack on Earth, and finally, seeing the one person that she never thought that she would ever see again: Raz. Worse, he was the Captain and ignored her.

She understood that he had a duty to perform. She understood that he likely had a lot to do in his position. However, he did not even say, "Come talk to me later." Well, at least he recognized her existence once she made herself visible. That was something. However, if they were going to work together, she decided, then they should probably work out the past. The last thing that she wanted was for anyone to be uncomfortable. They had to be on the same side, especially in light of the fact that Starfleet HQ and Earth were gone.

The decision made, she headed over to Raz's quarters and rang the chime, holding her breath as she did so.

Raz pulled up the next report, his pale gray gaze taking in the data, fitting the pieces to what he already knew, and looked up, surprised, when the chime rang. He had changed out of his torn, blood-stained uniform and into a loose fitting pair of custom-made pants with a long-sleeved pullover. The Bridge would have notified him of any immediate problems so this must be something else. Deck 2 was off-limits to the refugees, at least at present, so crew then. Sighing, he got to his feet, and headed for the door. When the door slid back, his expression shifted at once to guarded, reserved. "Lieutenant," he said quietly. "I was told you were helping out in Operations. Everything's alright, I trust?"

"That depends on your definition of alright." Her voice was low and soft. H'iri held her paws together. "May I come in?"

"For a moment," Raz said quietly, reminding himself that regardless of how much he wanted to say 'no,' he was the captain, and she was part of the crew. On the strength of that, he stepped back and allowed her to enter.

"I appreciate that." H'iri stepped into the door and started looking around Raz' quarters. She was curious as to the Caitian that he had become after two decades of being apart. Despite it all, her tail hung low, refusing to swish at all. "I thought that we should take a little time to speak." H'iri bit her upper lip lightly before continuing. "I am aware that this could be awkward, but I would like it to not be, as much as it can, especially since you accepted me as part of your crew."

The Jane Addams had been Raz' home for years which meant that there was nothing stark about his quarters. The shelves were crowded with books, the walls were filled with artwork, and an exquisite chess set, mid-game, sat on the coffee table. The color scheme, shown in the overstuffed furniture and the area rug in the common area, reflected a blue and gray color scheme. For him, it was home. Sanctuary. And he didn't like her being here. Not even a little.

"It's a difficult situation," Raz said. "I"m going to be honest with you, Lieutenant. You're crew because we sustained losses and its unlikely Starfleet will be able to send replacements for who knows how long. Commander Reeves assures me that you're qualified. So, you're here and I'll treat you with the professional courtesy I extend to any member of my crew. But not being awkward? I honestly don't see how that's even possible."

"I'm sorry for the loss of your Chief Operations Officer and all that died in this attack." Her eyes started to widen and became more glassy. Her tail lowered further. "There's so much that I'm sorry for, but it does not change anything that has happened. So, Captain, please allow us to speak freely. Please call me by name, at least here and now. Two decades and a good deal of hurt stand between us and I strongly dislike it, especially as I thought I would never see you again."

"Freely," Raz said as he gestured, reluctantly, for her to take a seat. Once she had, he chose one of the single armchairs directly across from her. "What is it that you want to talk about?"

H'iri gave Raz a weak smile as she found a seat, pushed her tail out of the way, and sat down. "Thank you, Raz. It has been a very long time and I'm not even sure, how or where to begin." There was a light sigh from H'iri and buzzing from her lips as she considered her next words. Ultimately, she still could not figure out where to start or what to say, so she deferred for small talk. "I see that you're still playing chess. It is rather exquisite set that you have there."

"I really started to learn at the Academy," Raz said, his gaze glancing at the set, and then sobering. Was Denali even alive? He sat quietly, something he'd learned in his years of command, giving little away save for a slight deepening of his already deep voice. "And thank you, it was a gift, but you aren't here for small talk. What's on your mind?"

Straight to the point, I guess. "No, I'm not here for small talk, Raz. I wanted to talk about our last time together.... It was a painful day, and it changed both of our lives...."

"Why," Raz said, his expression changing from wintry chill to honest confusion. "What could possibly be gained from talking about that day?"

"To at least try and work through the awkwardness," H'iri offered. She placed her hands on her knees and leaned forward. "We have to work together, Raz. At a bare minimum, I want to have a civil working relationship. If I still know you half as well as I did twenty years ago, then I am not oblivious to the undercurrent of anger when you call me, 'Lieutenant.'" Her eyes looked at Raz pleadingly. "I doubt that you can tell me I'm wrong. I do not think we are Caitians that change easily."

The tip of his tail beat a staccato rhythm as he struggled to put into words things he had not spoken of since that day. "Angry," Raz repeated, as the wintry chill born of old pain slid back into his eyes. "Yes, I'm that. Took a long time to heal but I did and then I chose to move on. I'm not sure how rehashing those moments will do either of us any good. So, I'm afraid you'll have to start."

"Yes, it took a long time to heal," H'iri confirmed. "I never wanted to end our relationship. My parents made a decision to engage me to the governor's son. I did not want it." A stray tear flowed down from her left eye into her fur and got stuck there. "I didn't have a choice in the matter. It was my duty." A couple more tears fell, this time from each eye. "You're a Captain, now. I'm certain duty has compelled you to do things that you have not wanted to do."

"Duty," Raz spat out. "I've learned a lot about duty in my years in Starfleet and I'm smart enough to know for myself what's the right thing to do and what's the wrong to do." He left unsaid the part where no creature in the universe, his parents included, would ever be permitted to dictate the course his life would take.

"Duty." Raz rose from his seat, tail lashing back and forth, as he circled to stand behind his chair. "Back then, you told me we couldn't marry and you walked away. And fool that I was, I was still going to try and win ... you ... back." He gestured with one paw, his claws extended momentarily, as the memories took hold.

"And your father, well, he must have figured that out. So, one night, when my parents were away, he had me taken. And he laid it all out for me. How the color of my fur, my 'true' lineage, as he put it, marked me as worthless. Unacceptable. Unwelcome in civilized society. And he punctuated every word of that with a strike from this metal-shod cane he was carrying while I was being held by two of his ... thugs." Raz stilled, letting his paws drop to his side, hidden behind the back of the chair.

"Might have cost one of them an eye but I got the message. Three cracked ribs and a promise of worse if I ever came near you again. And if that wasn't enough, he promised to make my parents pay as well. So, I enrolled in Starfleet Academy and haven't been home since. He kept his word, I kept mine. And you, you got the acceptable marriage and your Daddy's blessing," Raz said.

H'iri's jaw dropped as Raz told his story. "I...I...." She gulped heavily. "I had no idea, Raz." Her tail thrashed hard against the back of the seat. "I just thought you left.... Left without saying goodbye.... Left without trying...." She buried her head in her hands. "I should have known. I should have known.... So many tears I cried.... Such a fool I am." She looked up, tears freely flowing and her paws damp. She laughed wryly. "And look, here I go again.... Just like a child."

She shook her head sadly, before continuing. "But I have none of that anymore. No marriage. No blessing from 'daddy.' No nothing. In their eyes, I'm no better than you, now. Same with my ex-husband's eyes. He made sure to publicly embarrass me as much as possible with the divorce."

"No better than me," Raz repeated. "You know, my father said that your ex was an empty shirt. Interesting expression he picked up on one of his digs," Raz said, "and I have to say, that I agreed with him."

Raz walked out of the room and came back with a handkerchief, monogrammed with his initial, "R", and passed it over to her. "Though I confess to also using stronger terms and for a long while, when the Academy instructor told us to imagine our enemy, it was him, sometimes your father, that I was hitting. Very satisfying."

"Thank you," H'iri replied, blowing her nose and wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry that I'm such a mess. I'm still not convinced any of this is real."

"It's real," Raz said as he returned to his seat, his tail curled and still. "I'm presiding over the funerals tomorrow."

"I wish I could say that this was still part of my Kobyashi Maru test. It would be easier to accept," H'iri answered. She straightened up in her chair and put on a braver face. "I have been here this entire time and you still have not called me by name. Perhaps I deserve it. That said, I suppose our discussion has gone as best as it could."

"History doesn't change that easily," Raz said as he stood up, studying her for a moment. "But we may have reached neutral ground. I'd say that's a start. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

"As you wish, Raz," H'iri responded diplomatically. She rose from her seat and handed Raz back the handkerchief. "I appreciate your time."

"Keep it," Raz said dryly. He escorted her to the door of his quarters and once she stepped through, before the door closed, he said, "Goodnight H'iri."

H'iri was about to mention something about cleaning his handkerchief and returning it but she had been politely shooed out the door. Her tail continued to hang low until Raz said, "Goodnight, H'iri." She stopped in her tracks outside the door. Her tail rose slightly. She turned and whispered back, "Goodnight, Raz." She doubted that the door would open again. If it did, she did not know what she would do. Besides, her goal had been accomplished. Tension between them had been relieved and the crew would not suffer as a result. There was enough suffering going on with this ship tonight that it did not need added stress between them. So, with that small victory, the only one of the day, she slowly walked off, knowing she could likely sleep tonight.

---

Captain M'Raz
Commanding Officer
USS Jane Addams

and

Lieutenant H'iri
Operations Officer
USS Jane Addams

 

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